Wristwatch

– Do you like it?

– I love it! Thank you so much!

– I’m glad you like it. Congratulations on your new watch.

– Thank you!

– You’re welcome. Try it on.

– Okay, but first let’s take a shower.

– Absolutely.

*********

– Feeling refreshed?

– Yeah.

– You didn’t try on the watch.

– Oh, yeah! You’re right. Hold on.

– Hm. Suits you.

– Thanks so much! What does it do?

– It tells the time.

– And? Wait, is that it?

– What more do you want?

– I dunno. Something to help me see the dead.

– That’s what the ring’s for.

– No, that one helps me see Grim Reapers. And besides, I could still see you anyway. Say, what did happen to the ring after I gave it back to you?

– Still in the Royal Treasury. And after you gave it back, you got yourself a brand new ring.

– This one doesn’t do anything though.

– What exactly do you want? A rare mystical artifact?

– Yes. Actually, you know what? I like this the best. I think it’s the best thing you’ve ever given me. What about the one I gave you?

– It’s the perfect gift.

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Cockroaches

“You’re in the wrong seat.”

“Wha?…”

I looked up to find the lady staring down at me with a punchable smile on her face. Was she trying to be nice and sweet? Because she sure as hell wasn’t.

“You’re in the wrong seat”, she said again but now in a louder tone as if to make sure I could hear her. “Cockroaches sit over there.”

This shit again! I swear if I hear one more person use that term in front of me, I will set their hair on fire. But this time instead of causing a stir in front of everyone, I got up and changed seats.

I felt my ears burn. It seemed like the past has come back to bite me in the ass. I’ve been told to ‘let by-gones be by-gones’ but how can I when shit’s still the same? When people are still labeled as Cockroaches? When those who haven’t had the misfortune of having this label placed onto them act all high and mighty towards those who have?

I guess that’s what I was and what I’ll always be. There’s no escaping it.

I stared angrily at the door. Just then, in barged two familiar faces. Volt and Silver. Two guys who I knew from way back entered the room and were forced to sit in the Cockroach section. At least now I felt a little less bad. Silver and Volt were and still are known to be Cockroach material. I guess my association with them is what put me in this seat.

In walked another familiar face. A blond, tall, skinny guy only a couple years older than me. I haven’t seen him in ages so at that moment he just seemed to be more… mature, like he’s actually grown up or something. My heart hurt as the thought hit me: I’ll forever stay the same.

The lady with the dumb faces grinned at him and offered him a seat in the ‘normal people’ section. I watched as she sucks up to the guy and he flaunts his charisma at her and she just soaks in it. It wasn’t fair! He was just as much a Cockroach as the rest of us. I glared at him as he was about to sit in the seat that was offered to him. Yeah, go ahead. Sit on it, you traitor!

Just then his eyes locked with mine and he rose from his half-seated position. He walked toward us and asked to sit next to me.

“But… but that’s the Cockroach seat”, she said, her voice stuttering.

“Cockroach? That still a thing?”, he asks in an amused tone.

The lady was at a loss for words for a brief moment before asking the blond if he would rather sit somewhere in the front but he politely declines. Then she makes it clear how he was better off not sitting near us. She comes up with various excuses and ideas while trying to indirectly suggest he should sit somewhere separated from the rest of us. It was then I really wanted to beat the life out of her. I tried so hard not to jump to my feet and tackle her.

“Thanks, but I would to sit here if you don’t mind”, said the blond firmly.

Oh, it was glorious! The jarred look on her face! The way he leaned casually in his seat! Oh, yes! Thank you, old friend! Thank you so much! I could kiss you all over your face!

Even more questions!!

Here we go again!

Ready? Go!

1. What did you find in the unopened can of mixed nuts?

Od: Mixed nuts.

Zanayjin: Really? You found mixed nuts in a can of mixed nuts?

2. What is your favorite thing to drink?

Od: The blood of the innocent children!!

Apple juice.

3. What flavor of pudding is your favorite?

Od: The flavor of death and crying!!

Zanayjin: Apple juice.

4. They just cancelled your favorite TV show – what do you do?

Od: What?! NOOOOOOO!!!

Zanayjin: Yeah, that sounds about right.

5. What is the answer to 3 Down?

Od: Three do.. threed. Three. Ed?

Zanayjin: Ahahaha! Yes, that’s right. It’s Ed.

6. What is your favorite way to spend a winter day?

Od: Curled up in a blanket with a hot cocoa.

Zanayjin: I like to-

Od: You go outside and shovel the snow.

Zanayjin: Why do I have to shovel the snow?!

7. What goes best with plaid?

Od: More plaid.

Zanayjin: Less clothes.

8. What do Scots wear under their kilts?

Od: G-strings.

Zanayjin: Would you wear a g-string underneath your kilt?

Od: I don’t wear kilts and if I did I’d go commando. What would you wear under your kilt, Zan?

Zanayjin: …Briefs.

Od: Assless chaps.

9. How did the platypus get its name?

Od: Someone pointed at it and said, “platypus, platypus, platypus!”

Zanayjin: It’s a cat with a tray on it’s face. It’s a platter-puss.

10. What is over the next hill?

Od: The ducks from that song, “Five little ducks went out one day…”

Zanayjin: No, those are shot dead.

11. What (or who) is going to be in your will?

Zanayjin: I’m immortal so…

Od; You can have the outfit used for the ’13’ show episode 2.

Zanayjin: Please tell me it’s your restaurant manager outfit.

Od: Yeah. One of them.

Zanayjin: You can keep it.

12. What do you like to snack on when watching sports?

Zanayjin: Oh no.

Od: Chips.

Zanayjin: Oh.

Od: What did you think I was gonna say?

Zanayjin:Never mind. Next question.

13. You find a treasure map – what is the treasure?

Zanayjin: A slip of paper saying, ‘Congratulations! You win. Thank you for playing.’

14. They are making a movie of your life – what is the biggest whopper they invent?

Zanayjin: Od falls in love with a handsome prince.

Od: Zan turns out to be a puppy in disguise.

15. What did you find in the bag of chips/crisps?

Od: A human tooth.

Zanayjin: A slip of paper saying, ‘Congratulations! You win. Thank you for playing.’

16. Bollocks doesn’t mean what Americans think it does…what does it really mean?

Od: A type of cow.

Zanayjin: A type of dish.

Od: I’d like to taste your bollocks.

Zanayjin: Next question.

17. What is shephard’s pie really made out of?

Od: Shepards.

Zanayjin: Pie. … apple juice.

18. Cinderella didn’t lose her glass slipper – what did she lose?

Od: Her entire foot.

19. The moon is not made out of cheese or rock – it’s made out of what?

Zanayjin: It’s the eye of a huge monster.

Od: Bollocks.

20. What did you give the last person who asked you for a tip?

Od: A human tooth.

Zanayjin: Apple juice.

More questions!

I’m having another go at the fibbing friday questions. They’re fun and Zan and Od are just the best pair!

Ready? Go!

1. Jonah wasn’t swallowed by a whale…he was swallowed by a ____.

Zanayjin: Shark.

Od: Buffalo.

2. Who (or what) could make even the fiercest pirate quake in his boots?

Od: The Easter Bunny.

Zanayjin: Od’s farts.

3. What did Huckleberry Finn have to really paint?

Od: A bull’s ass.

Zanayjin: Marsha posing nude.

Od: On a bull’s ass.

4. What is the best food that can be paired with red wine?

Od: Cereal.

Zanayjin: Burnt toast.

5. What are you wearing on the sun?

Od: Stillettos and a teeny bikini.

Zanayjin: My birthday suit.

6. Why do dogs chase after cars?

Od: I dunno. Why?

Zanayjin: You’re supposed to answer the question… because cars are cats with the t’s being weird.

Od: What? No! I’m sure that’s wrong.

Zanayjin: Od…

7. What did the cat say to its kitten about the humans?

Zanayjin: Meow.

Od: Tall-ass monkeys.

8. Goldfish are not fish. What are they?

Od: Atretochoana eiselti.

Zanayjin: Where did you hear that?

Od: I dunno. Somewhere.

Zanayjin: Do you even know what that is?

Od: No.

Zanayjin: Here’s a picture.

Od: Oh. Oh! Oohhh. Oh.

9. What would you rather do instead of sleeping?

Zanayjin: Saw logs.

Od: Eat hamsters.

10. The Phantom didn’t haunt the Opera House…he haunted the ____.

Od: McDonald’s restaurant.

11. What is the most intelligent lifeform on Earth?

Od: I am.

Zanayjin: Hah!

Od: Are you saying I’m dumb?

Zanayjin: I’m not saying you’re dumb. Just stupid.

12. Why did we really go to school?

Zanayjin: Who’s ‘we’? I didn’t need to go to school.

Od: And that’s why you’re so educationally inept.

Zanayjin: Excuse me, but I make less spelling mistakes in a whole essay than you do in an paragraph.

Od: Lies! All of it!

Zanayjin: Well, it is Fibbing Friday.

Od: Shut up! Next question!

13. What did teachers do during recess?

Od: Oh, you know.

Zanayjin: We don’t actually. Care to tell us?

Od: All I can say is it involves a ruler, some socks, three heavy textbooks, sharpie pens and a wild attitude.

14. How did you get to school?

Od: Zanayjin carried me there.

Zanayjin: I held him in my arms as we floated along the breeze. Then I tossed him into the second story window and left him crying and screaming for me to come back.

15. What was life like before the Internet?

Zanayjin: We used our creativity more often. We tried to solve our problems on our own. We were also more productive.

Od: In other words, boring as balls.

16. What is the best thing about social media?

Od: Stalking Kamilla.

Zanayjin: …

Od: *I* don’t do that but some people do. Just not me.

17. What is your favorite thing to put chocolate sauce on?

Zanayjin: Erm… bacon.

Od: My body.

Zanayjin: …

Od: That was your answer, wasn’t it?

Zanayjin: I WILL NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY!

18. Doctors were all wrong…humans don’t need water. What do they need?

Zanayjin: Fodder.

Od: A latte. Large. Extra shot. No sugar. Oh! Make that an iced latte, please.

Zanayjin: Coming right up, madam…

19. Dolphins are not mammals. What are they?

Od: A brand of high heels.

Zanayjin: That scream as you walk.

Od: A true nightmare for your ears and feet.

20. There is a Lost Dutchman’s Mine, but where is it?

Zanayjin:Take road 52 and keep heading straight. Take a right after the Penguin store.

I thought of giving Fibbing Friday a go. It seemed like fun. Anyway, I though maybe I’d have two guys answer the questions.

Ready? Go!

1. You are Cinderella’s fairy god parent…what clothes do you give her?

Zanayjin: A long, black dress that has an opening by the right leg. Backless.

Od: Red dress. Long sleeves, with V-shaped opening reaching just below the bust.

Zanayjin: Why do we know so much about women’s dresses?

2. Snow White lived in the woods, but it wasn’t with seven dwarfs…what/who did she live with?

Zanayjin: Her grandma.

Od: Seven Giants.

Zanayjin: Seven giant grandmas.

3. Beast wasn’t cursed! The story got it all wrong. What was wrong with Belle?

Od: She confused a pomeranian for a man.

Zanayjin: “Belle! What are you doing?!”

Od: “But daddy! I love him! Just look at his manly chest!”

Zanayjin: “Alright. Put the dog down.”

4. Hansel and Gretel didn’t kill the witch! What did happen to her?

Od: They killed her and ate her up.

Zanayjin: She sold them as child slaves.

Od: Wow! Dark much?

Zanayjin: Says the person who suggested the children commited cannibalism.

Od: It’s not cannibalism! Witches and children are different species!

Zanayjin: No they are not!

5. Johnny Appleseed didn’t plant apple trees…what did he do?

Od: Stay at home all day watching T.V and eating chips.

Zanayjin: …are you Johnny Appleseed?

Od: Shaddap.

6. Casey didn’t strike out at bat. He wasn’t even a baseball player. What was he and what really happened to him?

Od: He was… an… accountant and he, um, was accounting… his money.

Zanayjin: Ahaha! Is that the best you can do?

Od: Well, let’s see you do better!

Zanayjin: He was a wolf dressed as a baseball player trying to persue his ballet career and ended up being a tennis world champion. Boom!

Od: I hate you.

7. History got it all wrong as usual…Paul Bunyan wasn’t a giant lumberjack. What was he?

Zanayjin: A tiny woodworker.

Od: An itty bitty teensy weensy- he was an ant.

Zanayjin: A carpenter ant.

8. Jack didn’t find a goose that lays golden eggs in the giant’s castle…what did he find?

Zanayjin: A giant.

Od: He found-

Zanayjin: For your sake and mine, stop talking.

Od: Okay.

9. What was the Ugly Duckling’s real story?

Od: The Ugly Duckling never turned into a beautiful swan. They stayed ugly all their lives. Miserable, pathetic, constantly picked on by everyone. It crawled into a hole and never came out ever again.

Zanayjin: Oh no! That is sad! Od! Why?

10. The sky wasn’t falling on Chicken Little. What was happening?

Od: They sky wasn’t falling on Chicken Little. It fell on Goosey Loosey. And everyone was like, “huh”, and went on to live their lives.

Zanayjin: Chicken Little was sat on by an elephant.

Od: I like yours better.

11 . Sleeping Beauty wasn’t really sleeping, what did she want to avoid doing?

Od: Living life.

Zanayjin: That’s kinda depressing.

Od: (That’s what I’d do.)

I watched the man rest in the arms of the strange figure. His body was limp as though he was in a coma or had already died. The only thing that made me believe he was still among the was my gut feelings.

But it was strange.

How did this dark creature soothe this man? How did it suck away all his days of torment? Am I to believe that this shadowy figure, who was the embodiment of death, able to remove any kind of distress from a mere human? No!

It was sucking out his soul!

… was what I thought until I saw the man shift and snort in his deep sleep. I still don’t understand anything but I’m glad he was fine.

The young man stood before me with someone or something hovering behind him. I can’t take my eyes off the thing.

“This is what I chose for myself.”

His voice caught my attention.

“This is what I want.”

The smile on his face faded.

“I tried to change things. I did! I tried to live a better life, fall in love, settle down… maybe this is the best I can have.”

His smile returned. I look back at the thing behind him and notice it was carrying a large blade.

“I don’t regret nothin’.”